What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?
By Mike Edwards
I written here many fears we may face in sharing certain beliefs with others. I am probably being too simplistic suggesting a main reason why we don’t discuss our differences whether it be about God or politics, but I am looking how to begin a discussion. I know many don’t venture certain discussions because of the consequences. Pastors loss their job if certain opinions about God are contrary to what their congregation believes. We have seen medical doctors’ licenses threaten with not agreeing with the Covid vaccine narrative. But I am desperate to understand why we avoid important conversations. Don’t we get closer to the truth sharing our opinions with one another?
We avoid pain by staying away from certain conversation
For one to question a main belief they have been taught in church all their life, such as if Hell is real, can create doubts about other beliefs they have been taught. Questioning if the Covid shots are safe in the long-run, if we have gotten the shots, can raise anxiety about our health. Perceived certainty rather than uncertainty is more comforting psychologically. Unknowing can create confusion or anxiety. Anxiety is avoided by not discussing one’s beliefs with others who believe differently. I imagine also many avoid certain discussions because they don’t feel able to defend their position or they prefer to avoid possible conflict generally.
I have written here how assuming certainty during uncertainty can be a relationship destroyer. Certainty is an illusion unless talking about universal moral sins such as rape or incest. Adultery isn’t only wrong in the eyes of the betrayer. Most decisions are not black and white and require open debate by those in authority. Assume uncertainty if you have one rational friend who believes differently from you whether it’s about religion or politics.
Civil discussions are critical in the pursuit of truth
Obviously, we may also avoid disagreements because such discussions can get heated. We must control our emotions when discussing our beliefs. We must talk to others like we want to be talked to. We must stop labelling others. We often are quick to consider or call others heretics or conspiracists when differing in religion or politics. How about thinking one has a different opinion than resorting to name calling!
How can we begin having civil discussions?
- We must stop thinking our views are morally superior to those we disagree with unless speaking of universal accepted moral truths
- We must handle differences with physical and emotional civility, accepting that misinformation isn’t opinions that don’t agree with our own
- We can begin conversations by looking for areas we agree
- We can defend our reasoning, respect the opinions of others, and commit to pursuit of truth
What about those who refuse to agree to disagree?
Do Christians or God-folks always look the other way or forgive uncivility — not treating others like they want to be treated? I don’t have to accept those who demand a literal Hell is biblical at the expense of unbelievers in their journey here on earth. See here. If one insists Hamas raping women and burning babies alive is justifiable because of perceived past disputes, I will condemn you. Jesus didn’t forgive the Pharisees before condemning their ridiculous religious laws. Open-mindedness doesn’t mean there aren’t common, universal, moral beliefs. Wisdom is required!
What May Be The Main Reason We Can’t Agree To Disagree?
Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. He couldn’t find enough people to discuss God openly so he started blogging years ago. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com
