Why Don’t Our Children Ask Our Advice?
By Mike Edwards
I am writing another Post out of frustration. See here. I am not angry. I just wish my grown kids asked my advice more about things that matter in life — how do you have a better marriage, what are key actions to parent, you can’t prove God exist so why do you care? When younger kids just need to be feed and loved. My kids are in their thirties. Maybe you as I do have a decent relationship with your kids, and I am not a control freak because of the way I was parented. I married up for sure! My kids still visit or yours may visit if we screw up less than we succeed. Maybe actions matter more than words!
Don’t judge least you be judged
Maybe we need to look in the mirror. Okay, maybe I need to look in the mirror. How many times have I reached out to older men for relational advice. It wasn’t that I knew it all. I was in the counseling profession and thrive on hearing and sharing feelings. I can count on one hand how many times I have reached out for advice. Lately, I am focused on trying to age graceful. This getting old sucks and I probably could use some pointers. I had a person in mind and he passed away. I never reached out. I suppose there are many reasons we or our kids don’t reach out.
Would all be great if God gave advice in person?
Okay, if God already speaks to you audibly why are you bothering reading spiritual blogs? The truth is that even if God spoke to us in person, God can’t tell you if your partner won’t end up betraying you or your new job won’t end up being phased out. God joins us in an unknown future. See here. In relationships, overzealous advice can lead to feeling controlled, thus rejecting what is best for one’s own good. The personal road traveled of learning, reflecting, and not being pressured may best lead to lasting convictions and more meaningful relationships. Maybe, it’s all about the relationship, not advice, as one travel on their own journey.
Actions speak louder than words
Influences in our life don’t have to be audible. My parents aren’t alive, but I still sense their influence — good or bad. God can’t tell us either that our decisions will work out, but I am convinced I benefit from God’s silent influence. I am convinced God influences me how to be a better partner, parent, or friend we desire to be deep down. I sense God’s encouragement to continually strive to make the best decisions I know at the time. God isn’t as hidden as we might think and it may be for our own good. Maybe that is how a parent-relationship works.
Mike Edwards has been writing for Done with Religion for some time and has been a great addition to the site. Mike also has his own site where he writes that can be found at What God May Really Be Like He can be contacted by email at: medwar2@gmail.com
